Lost and Found
by ARobTheMellow
Summary: Bitterness taints everything if left to linger. Even sweet Gilligan isn't immune to it. AU.
1. Chapter 1

Ch. 1

Mary Ann made the first move.

It wasn't something she would normally do. After all, women did _not_ chase after men. It wasn't right. It wasn't womanly. Her mother certainly would never have approved of it.

But she couldn't help herself.

He was kind and sweet. He had a gentle spirit and was so caring that she found herself wanting to be a part of him. He laughed a lot, which she loved, and he had a wonderful sense of humor. He was accident prone and managed to irritate others at times, but not her – well, sometimes – but at least not as much as the other castaways. He always meant well. He was rather thin and handsome in a boyish way with his innocent blue eyes and ready smile.

Mary Ann thought he was beautiful inside and out.

The first few times she tried with Gilligan were a bust. He didn't pick up her intentions and she didn't really know what she was doing either. She tried following him around, but that just made him nervous. After talking with Ginger though, Mary Ann tried again and again. She didn't give up so easily and stayed optimistic.

Eventually she realized that a blatant come on would scare Gilligan away. He was still like a boy in a lot of ways and was very antsy around women. Mary Ann tried a different approach. She befriended him first, but never forgot Ginger's words of advice.

_I'm glad you're getting to know him. Just be careful that you don't become 'one of the guys.' Because then he won't ever see you as anything but! _

The last thing Mary Ann wanted was to be put in that category.

She talked with him about home and about his home and family, and about things they both liked. Mary Ann knew he loved her pies, so she made them often for everyone, but especially for him. He never got tired of them and told her so after she brought it up to him. He could be immature but she noticed that less and less over time. She eventually got to know him to point that he considered her as good a friend as he did the Skipper.

It took Mary Ann several months but she finally had Gilligan comfortable enough around her that when she leaned in to kiss him one balmy night he didn't move away. Normally he was so shy that she was expecting him to jump away from her.

She had envisioned Gilligan leaping up and scrubbing his lips raw, so his lack of reaction made Mary Ann lean back to study him. He had an unreadable expression on his face and she began to feel regret for kissing him. He was obviously in shock. She should've known it wouldn't have gone well.

She sighed and moved back only to discover she couldn't. Mary Ann looked up at Gilligan and saw that his arms were around her, preventing her from going anywhere. She saw that his cheeks were slightly pink. He gave a shy little smile and had difficulty looking her straight in the eyes, but his arms were firm. She wasn't going anywhere.

"Gee Mary Ann, I didn't know we were _that_ friendly," he said in a cheeky, un-Gilligan-like tone.

A furious blush spread over her cheeks before the hesitant brush of his lips against hers made her forget everything else.

From then on, they were inseparable. Mary Ann heard once that having a woman made a man mature quickly. She never knew if it was true or not, but Gilligan _had_ changed. Of course, he was still himself – silly, prone to accidents, and still quite innocent, but he seemed more adult lately. He made better choices and was more aware of the repercussions of those choices.

They stayed faithful to one another even after the castaways rescued themselves from the island and found their way back to civilization. Their love just grew and got deeper over time. It started out as puppy love and turned into something so much more lasting.

As shy as Gilligan was, he felt so strongly for Mary Ann that he considered doing something that would have never crossed his mind otherwise.

* * *

Mary Ann climbed aboard the SS Minnow II which was ironically docked in the same spot the first SS Minnow was docked in.

"Hi Gilligan! Are you hungry? I brought your favorite pie…" Mary Ann gave him a big smile and put the food she brought below deck. "I saw the sandwiches you have – they look delicious!"

"Yeah, they should be pretty good -," he was interrupted by a big smooch on the cheek.

Gilligan grinned shyly. He ducked his head and rubbed his cheek before looking up at Mary Ann. She was so beautiful to Gilligan that he just stopped and drank in the sight of her for a moment. His love for her actually made his chest ache a little bit. He felt so lucky that she picked him. _Him._ She could have anyone she wanted and she wanted him.

Gilligan shook himself out of his reverie and ushered her to the top portion of the boat.

Mary Ann raised an eyebrow at him. "What's the deal Gilligan? I mention pie and you take me away from it?"

"Uh – well, that is…," Gilligan felt so nervous suddenly. A vision of the Skipper and the Professor popped into his head.

_Just do it Gilligan! You can do it little buddy!_

_Yes, you have to be confident about these things, Gilligan. Do it with your whole heart and you won't go wrong. _

Right. Just do it. Gilligan stood up straight and looked at Mary Ann who was still watching him with her gorgeous brown eyes, waiting for an explanation.

"Mary Ann, we can eat the pie later. I have to talk to you something."

"What? This is so unlike you Gilligan. Well, is everything ok?" She looked at him in concern. Mary Ann hoped he wasn't getting ill, but she already had a hundred different soup recipes ready to go if he was sick.

"Uh yeah Mary Ann… everything's fine. I just… wanted to ask you something."

Mary Ann waited. Her eyes then went very wide as she saw what he did next.

Gilligan pulled a white felt box out of his pocket and knelt down in front of Mary Ann. He then opened the box which contained a delicate gold band with a lone solitaire diamond on top and presented it to her.

Mary Ann looked down into his sky blue eyes and gently caressed his hair. She was already crying.

"Mary Ann… you mean the world to me. I love you. I love you even more than I love your food. I don't think I could live life without you. Will you marry me?"

* * *

He heard the first strains of music from an ancient upright piano off to his right somewhere. It was soft and sounded lovely although he didn't know the song. Gilligan felt like he was in a dream. Never in a million years did he think he would be getting married. And yet there he was, standing up on the altar waiting anxiously for Mary Ann.

The Skipper was his best man. He was standing next to him, talking with the Professor. Both men were looking quite dapper in their black tuxedos. Gilligan, the Professor and the Skipper were all fine with wearing normal suits, but Ginger wouldn't have it.

_Tuxedos are for the most formal affairs. You'll have to wear one Gilligan. There's no other way._

The Skipper reminded him that the only reason he was in a monkey suit was because they were such good friends.

_It's only because my little buddy is getting married that I'm doing this! _

She and Mrs. Howell had seen to all the arrangements – the church, the flowers, the music, the cake, the food, the dress, etc, etc. Mr. Howell insisted on paying for the whole wedding. Well actually, he only wanted to pay for a small portion of it, but Mrs. Howell made it very clear what she wanted from him. She usually got what she wanted.

He let his gaze wander the small church decorated in white roses and pink carnations. There were so many flowers Gilligan could smell them all from where he stood. Mrs. Howell even had ropes of forget-me-nots draped over the eight pews in the church. He could hear the echoes of people walking around on the stone floor.

The congregation was a small one - just the Professor, Skipper, Mr. and Mrs. Howell, Ginger, and a few other friends. He didn't have any family left and Mary Ann's family was back in Kansas. She said that they wouldn't be able to fly out to Hawaii.

"Gilligan – it's time," the Skipper said to him with a big grin on his face.

The pianist switched keys and suddenly Gilligan heard the introduction to the wedding march. His palms became slick with sweat. He tried not to fidget and turned to his left to see everyone seated and waiting for the bride.

_My bride_.

Gilligan was suddenly so elated he wanted to shout. He was at his highest and nothing could bring him down. He was going to marry the girl he loved; he had all his friends with him, and his very best friend right beside him.

He was so lost in thought that he didn't even notice at first when the pianist began to play the wedding march a second time. He looked at the empty entrance of the church. Maybe she had to use the bathroom. Or maybe she lost her veil.

By the third time everyone was murmuring and looking around. The pastor was looking down at his watch. He smiled encouragement at Gilligan when he realized he was being watched. The Skipper had lost his smile however, and the Professor was nowhere to be seen.

Gilligan kept his smile pasted on. Nothing was going to ruin the best day of his life. Everything was going to be perfect.

He started to shake the fourth time he heard the wedding march play and looked over at the Skipper who now had a deep frown on his face.

Everyone's heads snapped to the back of the church as the doors suddenly banged open loudly. Ginger ran up to the front of the church with the Professor close behind her.

"What is it Ginger," Gilligan asked as he rushed down from the altar. "Where is Mary Ann?"

"Oh Gilligan! Mary Ann's gone," Ginger exclaimed breathlessly. She looked like she was ready to cry. "She didn't even leave a note or anything!"

A collective gasp was heard from the group of people in the congregation. Most of them quickly made their way up to the altar where Gilligan was.

"_Gone_? Ginger – what do you mean she's _gone_," the Skipper asked. "I don't understand - where could she have gone to?"

"We think she might have gone to the airport," the Professor replied.

The Skipper rubbed the back of his neck. "How could you possibly know that? You said she didn't leave a note."

During the entire exchange, Gilligan didn't say a word. All he heard was the blood roaring in his ears. _Where was she? Why isn't she here?_ He fought the panic that was starting to rise inside. Gilligan swallowed hard and suddenly he could hear everything again.

"I saw an airplane ticket in her purse yesterday," Ginger explained, her voice becoming shriller the more upset she became. "It was lying open. I thought she had invited her family and the ticket was for one of them."

_The airport._ Gilligan suddenly walked off the altar and out the front door. He ran to the side of the building where a shiny baby blue Cadillac sat. He fished out the keys, got in the car and started it up. He shifted into reverse and took his foot off the gas before the passenger door was yanked open by the Professor. Ginger, the Skipper, Mr. and Mrs. Howell were right behind him.

"We're going with you Gilligan," the Professor said firmly.

"You aren't all going to be able to fit, Professor," Gilligan responded. His throat felt tight.

"We'll make do."

Gilligan didn't say anything but kept his foot on the brakes while everyone piled in. The Professor sat up front while Mr. and Mrs. Howell sat in the back along with the Skipper. Ginger ended up sitting on the Skipper's lap, to her slight discomfort and his immense pleasure.

He didn't know it, but the rest of their friends had also rushed out to their vehicles to follow him to the airport.

Everyone was just barely situated when Gilligan stomped on the gas and tore out of his parking spot.

The drive to Honolulu International Airport was normally a 45 minute drive. Gilligan made the trip in 20 minutes. By the time Gilligan pulled into a parking space, he had everyone hanging on for dear life. He got out of the car and ran inside the airport. All of his friends followed him and made their way out onto the tarmac after him.

Gilligan looked around wildly. He finally spotted her after a moment climbing the steps to board a plane.

"Mary Ann!" He yelled her name as loudly as he could.

She turned around and saw Gilligan, dressed in his tuxedo. Then she turned back towards the plane.

He started to walk towards the plane, which had already had its engine going. He stopped short. Who had their hand on Mary Ann's waist? Gilligan squinted his eyes against the wind from the propellers. He couldn't believe his eyes. It was Mary Ann's ex-boyfriend. Gilligan watched them both make their way inside the plane in disbelief. It was only after the door was closed and sealed that he began to move towards the plane again.

He took several steps before he felt himself being restrained on both sides by the Skipper and the Professor.

"Gilligan! You can't go out there," the Professor yelled over the sound of the planes and the wind whipping around them. "It's too dangerous!"

"Come on back little buddy," the Skipper cried out. "Let's get inside!"

Gilligan didn't respond. He struggled in silence as they turned forcibly him around towards the building. He heard the propellers of her plane speed up as it became ready for flight. As Gilligan relaxed his body, so did both men next to him. He knew he wasn't the strongest guy out there, but he had speed and he used it when he had to.

This was one time he had to.

Gilligan waited a moment before suddenly yanking himself free and sprinting onto the tarmac. He could the Professor and the Skipper yelling behind him but he paid them no mind. He had one goal. Get to that plane.

Unfortunately, it started to take off. Gilligan ran towards it as the plane picked up speed. He finally caught up with the plane and saw Mary Ann in one of the windows.

"Mary Ann!" Gilligan yelled to get her attention. "Mary Ann! Where are you going? Don't go! Mary Ann – _look at me_! _Mary Ann_!"

She finally heard him and looked out the rounded window at Gilligan. Mary Ann couldn't hear him very well, but she could make out what he was saying.

"Mary Ann," Gilligan yelled again.

He was having a hard time keeping up with the ever increasing speed of the plane. He actually got close enough to bang his hand on the fuselage one time but that took a big chunk of his energy. Gilligan's lungs were burning and he was getting very tired at this point but kept up the chase anyway. The plane was beginning to pull away from him and it held the one thing he loved most.

He made one last desperate plea with her.

"MARY ANN – PLEASE DON'T LEAVE ME, I LOVE YOU!"

She looked at him for one more moment and turned her face away.

Gilligan felt his legs give out and dropped to the ground, tears pouring down his face. He watched as the plane finally lifted off.

As he cried, he felt something within him shrivel up. Gilligan began to feel numbness throughout his entire body. It radiated from his chest. Warmth used to radiate from that same spot.

_We'll always be together, won't we Gilligan?_

_Sure we will Mary Ann. We love each other. I'll never leave you. You're my Mary Ann. I love you._

_And I'll never leave you Gilligan. I love you too._

She left him. She stood him up at the altar. She turned away from him on the plane.

Gilligan was suddenly hoisted to his feet by several people. He was dragged back a few feet before he suddenly dug his heels in.

"What are you doing," someone near him asked. "We have to get off the tarmac!"

Gilligan smacked the hands around him away and turned towards where the plane sat before takeoff. He dug in his pocket and pulled out a white felt box. He opened the box and tore the delicate gold wedding band with its lone solitaire diamond out.

He then took the ring and with an anguished cry, hurled it away from him. He tossed the box to the side as he was led away from the tarmac.

Gilligan wouldn't need it again.


	2. Chapter 2

Ch. 2

_**One Year Later**_

"You know, ever since your Uncle George passed, we've been having trouble keeping up with the farm. Bless his heart; he always took care of the business for everyone. But now, I think it's time to move on, don't you Mary Ann?"

Mary Ann stayed quiet. Aunt Martha put her reading glasses down and looked up at her young niece inquisitively. She had hoped the girl would take the news better. She received a letter in the mail a week earlier from an old friend who had a combination ranch and coconut plantation out in Hawaii of all places.

Her friend, Eleanor Whaley, needed helpers out on her the farm and thought of her first.

_Dear Martha,_

_I hope this letter finds you well. I want to give my most sincere condolences for George's passing. May he rest in peace. I know that even though my late husband moved me away from Kansas all these years, we are still close. Nothing has changed since we were schoolgirls._

Martha giggled at that. Nothing had changed between the two of them.

_I was on the ranch recently and had a thought. I know that you have been struggling to keep your farm up and I need help on mine. The last conversation we had, you told me you would like to leave the farm, if you ever had the chance to. Martha, move to Hawaii. Let's be partners. We can manage both the plantation and the dude ranch together. And Mary Ann would surely like it – she's been to Hawaii before. I'm sure she's very familiar with this area. I'm sorry to be so abrupt about it all, but I didn't know how else to bring it up. Please think it over._

_Very truly yours,_

_Eleanor_

At first Martha was against the idea. It was a new area and leaving the farm almost felt like a betrayal of George. But she let the idea stew in her mind awhile. Things had gotten so stale in Winfield. She had gotten stale.

George would not like that she was wallowing in his memory. Not at all. He would want her to go out and do something. After a week of deliberation, she was settled. They would plant new roots in Hawaii.

Martha thought Mary Ann would be thrilled. But she wasn't. In fact, the girl looked downright afraid. She frowned in thought. Mary Ann hadn't been the same since she came back from Hawaii. Mary Ann went off to Hawaii, hoping to go to school there. Then she was shipwrecked on an island, and at the last moment was going to marry some coarse sailor boy.

Thank goodness she had managed to put a stop to that nonsense. Mary Ann finally came to her senses and was obedient in coming home where they could put all this mess behind them.

Martha watched her young niece as she read a book. She told Mary Ann's parents before they died that she would take care of her and make sure nothing ever happened to her. She had already failed once.

But if they were both in Hawaii, she could keep a close eye on her and keep her safe. That sailor boy was probably already long gone from port. That's how they were after all. Never in one place for very long. He would have broken Mary Ann's heart for sure.

Her niece was a good girl and very pure. She wanted to keep her that way. Mary Ann had already been through a lot, being on that island. Martha loved her niece so much and thought she would never see her again. It was like she had died. Mary Ann was the daughter she never had. She knew she sounded harsh at times, but Martha didn't know how else to show her love.

George always told her she was too hard on the girl, but if she wasn't, how would Mary Ann manage in the world? Coddling her would do no good. She was encouraging and kind, but very strict. In her mind, it was the only way.

Mary Ann kept her eyes on the book she had in her hand but she hadn't read a single word since Aunt Martha told her they were moving to Hawaii. She didn't want to go back. She couldn't think about going back. Not after what she did.

When she finally called her aunt and uncle, Mary Ann thought that they would be so happy. They were relieved and grateful to the point of tears that she was alive and well after being stranded for so long. Aunt Martha wanted to know when she would visit.

Mary Ann wished she had answered differently.

* * *

"_I'm so glad you're alright sweetheart," Aunt Martha practically sobbed into the phone for the hundredth time. "I was so afraid that you would never come back. I thought I had lost you."_

_Mary Ann smiled softly at the other end of the line. They had already been talking for nearly half an hour and Aunt Martha was still teary._

"_Martha – let me talk to her one more time! She's my only niece!" Uncle George's muffled voice was persistent in the background. "Give me the phone!"_

"_In a second George – you talked to her earlier," Martha said, impatiently shooing her husband away. She wanted to talk to the girl some more. "So, you've told me about those castaways. Did you become good friends with any of them?"_

"_Aunt Martha, they're all wonderful! But there's one castaway in particular I wanted to tell you about," Mary Ann said excitedly. "It's someone very special to me."_

"_Oh? Who is it," Martha asked with a smile. She always loved to hear about Mary Ann's little girlfriends. It took her back to her past as a young girl and then as a teenager and a young woman._

"_Well, his name is Gilligan –"_

_Martha frowned. __**His**__ name? _

"_\- and he was on the boat with the rest of us. Actually, he's the Skipper's first mate. He's funny, kind, sweet, and I really like him."_

_Martha wasn't sure she liked the direction of the conversation._

"_Aunt Martha, he proposed to me and we're getting married! I want you and Uncle George to come to Hawaii!"_

_Martha was shocked into silence. Her niece had been missing for so long and now she was back and engaged? She felt like she had lost her all over again - first to the elements and now to a man._

"… _Aunt Martha? Are you still there," Mary Ann asked hesitantly on the end. "The line was completely silent._

"_Oh yes, I'm here," Martha said after a moment. She tried hard not to betray her thoughts. Martha didn't want to alienate her._

_Mary Ann sensed something wasn't right. "Are you ok? What's wrong?"_

_Martha tried to hold back but couldn't stop herself. "I'm ok Mary Ann, but – you've been gone all this time and now you tell me you're getting married - and to a sailor. You're too young to get married – you don't even know what life is about. This is all so much to take in."_

"_Aunt Martha, he isn't a sailor – he just works on a boat that runs island tours -,"_

"_\- Be that as it may," Martha cut her off without really listening. "I still think you're too young to be thinking about this. Besides, men of the sea are a salty bunch. It's improper for a young girl to be hanging around such people. I really can't stand this."_

_Mary Ann tried to keep her emotions in check. She knew her relatives wouldn't be thrilled, but Aunt Martha had never been so blunt before._

"_Aunt Martha, I'm not a little girl anymore. I know this is abrupt, but you'll get used to it over time – just, please – listen to what I'm saying. I love him. I want to be with him," Mary Ann said, almost pleading with her aunt to understand. 'I want you and Uncle George to come and give me away.'_

_There was a very pregnant silence before Martha spoke again. When she did, there was no more room for discussion._

"_Mary Ann, I want you on the next available flight home. We never should have let you go to Hawaii on your own."_

* * *

And so she left Hawaii, her friends, and Gilligan. Mary Ann fully intended to get in contact with everyone as soon as she got back to Winfield, but Aunt Martha made sure she wasn't able to call or write to anyone. She was going to try and reason with Uncle George but when Mary Ann got home, she realized that he was sick.

'_I'll just wait for him to get well again,'_ Mary Ann thought.

But he never did. George got more and more sick and before she knew it, four months had passed and he was terminally ill. He died five months after Mary Ann returned from Hawaii.

In dealing with the aftermath of his death and the crippling grief that came along with it, Mary Ann suddenly remembered one day that she had neglected to contact anyone from Hawaii.

She thought of Gilligan again and felt overwhelming sadness. Mary Ann missed him. She longed to go to him, but how could she face Gilligan after leaving him?

She decided she couldn't.

Another six months passed and every day it got easier to deal with both the loss of her uncle, who was really more like a father, and the loss of Gilligan, her other half. Mary Ann kept busy and kept her mind off of him as much as she could.

There was no use dwelling on something she couldn't have. She knew he would be heartbroken, but hoped that he would recover from this. Gilligan was someone who never stayed sad or angry for very long.

The more she thought about Gilligan, the less afraid she became of going back to Hawaii.

'_Maybe he'll be ok,'_ she thought with growing enthusiasm._ 'I'll just explain what happened and everything will be the way it was before.'_

By the time she and Aunt Martha finished packing up, Mary Ann could hardly wait to get to Hawaii. She wanted to see all the castaways and Gilligan more than anything.

* * *

The warm wind was blowing everywhere as Mary Ann and Martha stepped off the plane with minimal luggage. They left what they didn't need and what they did need, they sent ahead. Most of their belongings were already at the farm.

Mary Ann stepped onto the tarmac after her aunt. She lifted her chin over the large red and white lei around her neck to see her aunt run towards a petite woman with salt and pepper hair. The women hugged each other tightly. Mary Ann heard her aunt laugh in a way she hadn't heard in years. There were tears flowing freely down her cheeks as she smiled tenderly at her old friend.

"Eleanor," her aunt put her hand behind Mary Ann's back and brought her closer. "This is my niece, Mary Ann Summers."

Eleanor took her lovely features in with sharp blue eyes. She was met by the sight of beautiful brown eyes and skin glowing with youth. "My, isn't she a beauty! It's very nice to meet you Mary Ann."

"Likewise, ma'am." Mary Ann shook the delicate hand in front of her.

She wasn't surprised to feel calluses and rough skin. Mary Ann knew well that the worth of a farmer came from the yield of crops at the end of a long summer and how well animals were tended to. Rough hands were like a badge of honor for farmers.

"Now, now, no need for that," Eleanor said, tapping Mary Ann lightly on the arm. "You just call me Eleanor."

"Yes m' – I mean, Eleanor," Mary Ann responded with a little smile.

Eleanor smiled in approval before ushering the two women to her old blue pickup in the parking lot. She heaved their luggage into the bed of the truck and got in the vehicle.

"You ready," she asked with a broad smile.

Martha looked back at her old friend and couldn't help but to feel excited. "As ready as can be, Eleanor. Let's do it."

Eleanor started the truck and backed it out of the parking spot it occupied. "You've come to the right place." She nudged Martha's arm which elicited a laugh from her.

The drive from the airport to the farm was almost an hour long. While the two older women chatted and caught up with one another, Mary Ann stared out the window watching the trees fly by.

Hawaii never ceased to amaze her. It was a paradise of rich browns, lush greens, and the never ending blue of both the water and the sky. Mary Ann loved the way the rainforest loomed in the distance, always in sight. It was especially impressive to her since she was used to seeing nothing but flat farmland once again. The air was always warm and moist but the heat was never overbearing. It was always just right for Mary Ann.

Despite everything she liked about Hawaii, her favorite thing about the island was the Hawaiian people. They were beautiful with bronze skin that was luminous from the sun and wide ready smiles. The Hawaiians were very generous and kind people. But then again, everyone, regardless of race on that island, was kind to her. It was a helpful buffer against the sometimes crippling homesickness that used to grip her.

Before Mary Ann knew it, Eleanor had turned off the main road and onto a smaller road with a large sign next to it.

**Kahanamoku Plantation and Dude Ranch. **

She looked past the sign but couldn't see anything beyond the sugarcane plants that lined the road. After another minute or so, the truck pulled up to a very large, two-story, brown and white plantation house.

Both Martha and Mary Ann stared in amazement at the imposing house. Eleanor quickly pulled the truck into a driveway made for several cars and got out. Mary Ann climbed out of the truck after Martha and looked around. She couldn't see the farm or the ranch and yet she knew that the area was humongous.

She couldn't imagine how much space a person would need for both a farm and a ranch. Mary Ann heard that the ranch had cattle and regular visitors who liked to visit.

"Mary Ann, keep up," Martha said, waving her niece over. "You can look around later. Let's get everything inside."

Mary Ann took her suitcase and walked up the porch behind Eleanor and Martha. She was delighted to find a white porch swing at the right end of the large porch. Inside the door was a spacious, circular foyer that was almost cream colored and floors that shone with a Kona wood finish.

There were two archways on either side of the foyer and in the middle was a very wide, wooden staircase. Mary Ann's eyes followed the curve of the stairs as it wound itself around the foyer going up. It was truly the grandest part of the entrance. Even the handrails and the bars had intricate carvings on them.

Mary Ann looked up towards the second floor and saw the stairs end with a balcony that curved with the foyer. The ceiling was thatched with the beams visible, both a beautiful medium brown made rich by the ceiling lights that hung down.

She thought the home was beautiful. Mary Ann noted that although the house was a typical Hawaiian plantation-style home complete with verandas on both stories and palm trees everywhere, there was just a touch of Victorian influence in the design. The staircase was one huge example of that.

Eleanor showed Martha and Mary Ann to their rooms to let them rest and unpack before meeting everyone else at dinner.

Mary Ann put her suitcase on the plush, cream colored carpet and looked around. She fell completely in love with her room. It was very wide and open, like the rest of the house. Except the walls were a light mint green with white borders. Her bed was also white with a sheer canopy over it. Eleanor explained that it was netting for the mosquitoes.

On the opposite side of the bed sat a large brown dresser with a mirror attached and right next to it was a closet. It was all very nice but Mary Ann was drawn to the French doors on the far side of the room. She hung her lei up on the dresser mirror before walking over to the doors. Mary Ann opened them and walked out onto the veranda. She couldn't believe what was in front of her.

If she looked to her left, Mary Ann could see the ocean. It was always visible. But it was beyond the hilly land that lay before her. She could make out a group of cattle and the cowboys that were herding them up. On her right was all farmland, but it was unlike anything she had ever seen before. There were rows of palm trees and beyond that was row after row of pineapple plants. Below her on ground level was a flower garden that was an explosion of colors and scents. It was all perfect.

She felt very tired suddenly and decided to lie down for a short nap. Mary Ann was lulled by the fragrant scent of the white and pink hibiscus flowers on the veranda and drifted off to sleep with a warm breeze in the room and Gilligan on her mind. She didn't know how she was going to find him, but she would.

"Mary Ann? Dear, it's time for dinner."

Mary Ann woke up to the sound of Martha knocking at her door. She looked at the small clock on her nightstand. It was already 6:30 in the evening. She quickly got out of bed and opened the door.

Martha smiled at her. "Come on, it's time to eat now."

She was led downstairs and through the kitchen where Eleanor was bringing out plates. There were two other men with her.

"Mary Ann, you're just in time for dinner," Eleanor said. "I want you to meet these guys."

One of the men was in his mid fifties, maybe even sixty, with sandy hair streaked with grey and a thick mustache. He was tall with long legs and a solid build. The man towered over her, Martha and especially Eleanor. He had rugged features but was still very handsome. Mary Ann was sure that he had been an absolute dreamboat in his youth.

She fought to hide her smile as she took Wade in. Eleanor didn't seem to notice that his gunmetal grey eyes were trained on her and only her.

The other man was younger, perhaps in his late twenties, with light brown hair and greenish-brown eyes. He was of average height, no taller than 5'11. He was not heavyset but he had a slightly round face complete with freckles. Mary Ann thought there was something very familiar about his face. She had seen it before.

"Martha, Mary Ann, these two men are my ranch hands. I have three more, but tonight they're with their families. These guys live on the property" Eleanor briefly touched each man on the shoulder. "This is Wade and Lucas." The older man was Wade and the younger one was Lucas.

After everyone was acquainted with one another, Eleanor took the plates to the dining room. Mary Ann watched with delight as Wade followed her holding a giant pot roast. Lucas grabbed the cups and utensils while Martha took a bowl of salad in one hand and a plate of soft, steaming rolls in the other hand to the dining room. Mary Ann grabbed two pitchers, one with water and the other with lemonade and took it into the other room.

"Finally, everything's ready," Lucas said, rubbing his hands together. "Eleanor, this looks good. I'm starving."

Eleanor smacked his hand. "Not yet. Jonas said they would be here in a few minutes. You can wait."

Mary Ann looked at the large dining table and saw two more place settings. She sat and hungrily eyed the food. She didn't think much about that Jonas man – Mary Ann just wanted him and whoever was with him to get to the house quickly. She didn't pay attention as everyone else killed time with conversation.

The pot roast was tempting her with its succulent meat and juices running all over the potatoes, carrots and onions. The salad looked wonderful as well. She was so hungry that she would have settled for just one of the rolls in the middle of the table – even without the butter. Mary Ann took a sip of water and was watching a drop of juice drip slowly off one of the carrots when she heard more footsteps enter the room.

"Jonas, what took you so long," Eleanor admonished gently. "Our guests have been waiting for you two."

"Gee Eleanor, don't blame Skipper. It was my fault we were late. He was having trouble with the mooring line and I tried to help him. I ended up in the water and he had to pull me out. Then I had to dry off and change my clothes."

Mary Ann froze. She knew that voice. She knew the pitch and even the sorry tone that went along with it like the back of her hand.

"Well, you're both here now. That's what matters," Eleanor finally said. "I want you to meet our guests."

Mary Ann stopped listening to their conversation. She couldn't think about anything else until she felt a sudden poke on her arm. It was Aunt Martha telling her to turn around. Don't be rude.

'_This can't be real. Oh please… please,' _she thought fearfully. _'I hope it's not… but it's been a year. Maybe he'll be better. Maybe he'll be ok."_

She didn't want to but finally Mary Ann turned to face the two men behind her. She watched as the Skipper's eyes went wide in shock. Mary Ann expected the surprise. She was just as surprised as he was.

Then her eyes slid over to the other man. Her fists tightened under the table in response to what she saw.

Mary Ann watched the warmth slowly bleed out of Gilligan's eyes as he looked down at her.

It was worse than she thought.


	3. Chapter 3

Ch.3

Time seemed to stop as Gilligan laid eyes on Mary Ann for the first time in a year.

She was just as lovely as the last time he saw her. Mary Ann was still very youthful but the childish roundness of her face was not as apparent any longer. But Gilligan found that the new angles of her face – which still weren't very sharp - actually enhanced her beauty. Womanhood suited her very well.

Bitterness tainted everything and he could taste it fresh in his mouth again, as if he had swallowed ashes. Gilligan spent the last year trying to move on and thought he had succeeded once and for all.

For the first few months Gilligan had did nothing but lie around. His already thin frame became almost emaciated. He cried a lot. Eventually he began to eat again. He began to sleep through the night again. He never forgot the sound of her laugh or the curve of her face, but he was able to bottle it all up.

The Skipper was surprised the day he went aboard the SS Minnow II and saw Gilligan hard at work again. The last year had been a rough one and it changed Gilligan drastically. He still had his sweet nature, but was no longer the silly boy who served as first mate on the SS Minnow.

His smiles which were always wide and genuine became tight and were few and far between. Even his eyes, which once had innocence shining brightly out of them, were now dim. Heartbreak had turned him into a very serious man.

Everything came flooding back to Gilligan as though he were standing on that tarmac. He would never say it out loud, but he knew he was a fool for thinking he had ever moved on.

Eleanor introduced Gilligan and the Skipper to Mary Ann and Martha. "This is Gilligan and this is Jonas. Guys, this is Martha and her niece Mary Ann. They just moved here from Kansas and they'll be helping us here on the farm and the ranch."

"Hello. It's nice to meet you," Martha replied warmly. "Eleanor, how do you all know each other?"

"Frank introduced me to Jonas after we got married and bought the ranch. They were old navy buddies. He's actually Lucas's uncle. Can you see the resemblance?"

Martha looked at both men. They had different hair and eye color but they shared similar facial features. They had roughly the same build, even. Of course the Skipper was quite a bit heavier than Lucas, but he was also much older than the lad.

"It's nice to meet you both," Gilligan said, forcing himself to sound pleasant. He even managed to work some warmth into his eyes. "I'm gonna go wash up. Eleanor, would you come with me for a moment?"

"I'll tag along Gilligan. I need to wash up too," the Skipper said.

He was shocked to see Mary Ann again as well. He quickly glanced at Gilligan to see his reaction to seeing her again. His face was smooth and bland, which worried the Skipper. Gilligan had absolutely no reaction to seeing her. It was strange considering that the Skipper had to help scrape Gilligan up off the floor after she left. Gilligan rented a room, but after being left at the altar, the Skipper moved him onto the plantation where he stayed when he wasn't at sea. Someone had to keep an eye on Gilligan.

The Professor, who taught at the local high school, offered to help. So did Mr. and Mrs. Howell. Even Ginger offered, despite the fact that she had gone back to Hollywood. But he had been Gilligan's friend the longest and wanted to take care of him.

The Skipper was angry with Mary Ann for many months as well, but supporting Gilligan was more important to him. If she came back, he knew she would explain.

Gilligan walked over to the kitchen sink. He rolled up the sleeves on his red shirt and began lathering his hands up with the soap near the faucet. Eleanor walked up next to him.

"What's up Gilligan," she asked.

"Well, I know everyone's been talking about the Skipper and I being stranded on that island. I was wondering…"

Eleanor's eyes twinkled knowingly. Gilligan had always been rather shy. "Why don't you want me to mention it?"

Gilligan gave her a small smile. You and I have only known each other for six months but you're getting to know me well. That was a rough time for the Skipper and me. When we get to know them better the Skipper and I can tell them about it."

She nodded, seeing his point. "I suppose I wouldn't want anyone in my business either. I won't say anything and I'll make sure nobody else brings it up until you're ready."

"Thanks Eleanor. You're the best."

Eleanor winked at Gilligan and walked back into the dining room.

The Skipper nudged Gilligan over and began to wash his hands. "Why don't you want her to tell anyone? Don't you think Mary Ann will mention it?"

Gilligan let his mask slip just a little bit. "Skipper, I just don't want to deal with it right now. Maybe later, but I can't think about it right this second," he said tiredly. "I wasn't expecting to see her again and if I try to leave, Eleanor will just drag me back to the table. Just don't say anything, ok? We don't know her."

The Skipper looked down at him in surprise. "But Gilligan, how are you going to hide something that big? She was your _fiancé, _everyone's gonna know -,"

"- Know what," Gilligan asked. "They know I was engaged, but they don't know that it was her. Just stay quiet. I've never met them before. _You've_ never met them before either."

"I still think you're making a big mistake. What if she brings it up," the Skipper asked, doubt thick in his voice.

Gilligan's blue eyes turned stormy for a moment. "She won't. Trust me Skipper. This whole thing is her fault and she knows it."

The Skipper looked closely at Gilligan. He wasn't sure if the boy would be able to stay calm around Mary Ann.

Suddenly his eyes cleared up again. "But things change. The past is the past, isn't that right Skipper?"

"… Yeah, little buddy... The past is the past."

The Skipper decided to keep a close eye on Gilligan.

Mary Ann watched as Gilligan, the Skipper and Eleanor retreated into the kitchen. Her fist was clenched so tight that her nails were actually digging in the palm of her hand. This would not be an easy night. She suddenly wished they were back on the farm.

"They seem nice, don't you think," Martha asked.

"They do," Mary Ann replied distractedly. She tried peering into the kitchen after Gilligan but couldn't see anything. "Aunt Martha?"

Martha looked over at Mary Ann. "Yes?"

"Could you please not say anything about me getting stranded on the island?"

"But why not," Martha asked. "It would make for great conversation."

"I know, but I don't really know any of these people. I don't want to tell them all of that right away," Mary Ann said. She didn't want her aunt to figure out that it was Gilligan she had left at the altar. Mary Ann needed to talk to him alone somehow.

Martha nodded in understanding. "I know it's probably a little scary for you, being in a new place and all. I won't say anything about it, if that will make you feel better."

Mary Ann's shoulders sagged slightly in relief. That was one less thing she had to worry about over dinner. She just hoped Gilligan or the Skipper wouldn't bring it up. "Thank you Aunt Martha." Mary Ann leaned over and gave her a small peck on the cheek.

Gilligan and the Skipper walked back into the dining room behind Eleanor.

"Alright, now that everyone's here," Eleanor looked back at the two men behind her pointedly, "we can eat."

To both Gilligan and Mary Ann's immense relief, the meal went smoothly. Everyone was relaxed and there was a lot of laughing going on, but no talk about the SS Minnow or the island. The meal went so smoothly that nobody aside from Gilligan, the Skipper and Mary Ann knew that anything was wrong.

Before they knew it, dinner was over and it was almost time for bed. Mary Ann offered to help wash up but Eleanor wouldn't hear of it. She and Martha sent her off to bed and Mary Ann left them down in the kitchen gossiping and carrying on.

* * *

Mary Ann didn't feel like going back to her room just yet so she decided to take a walk on the grounds. It was well after eight and getting dark when she stepped outside. Mary Ann took in a lungful of cool, salty air and began to walk. She could hear the push and pull of the massive waves nearby. It calmed her down. She stopped by a bush with pink and yellow plumerias and picked a bunch.

As she walked, she tried making a lei out of them. Dinner went well, but she was a wreck the entire time. She was shocked that Gilligan didn't say anything. Other than his initial reaction to seeing her, it was almost like she was a stranger to him. He was nice and very polite, but distant.

She frowned in thought. That wasn't the Gilligan she knew. Her Gilligan, while inept at times, always spoke his mind, whether anyone wanted to hear it or not. That's just how he was.

She was expecting him to yell at her, scream, rage, _something._ But she got nothing. Mary Ann wasn't sure if that scared her more than how she thought he was going to react to seeing her. She wanted to talk to him alone. Mary Ann had to explain. She walked through the coconut trees and up towards the entrance.

Up ahead of her was Gilligan, alone, sitting at the base of one of the trees. She ran up to him, plumerias secure in her arms, afraid that if she didn't hurry, he might disappear. Mary Ann slowed down when she approached him and tried to stay quiet.

Gilligan heard her however and turned his head to look up at her. She looked down at him and neither spoke for several moments.

Mary Ann was the first to break the silence. "Hi Gilligan," she said softly.

"Hi Mary Ann," he replied, his voice just as soft, but without the emotion hers had.

She shifted her feet. "It's been a long time."

"Yeah… it has." Gilligan looked down at his hands. "Did _he_ come along?"

Mary Ann didn't have to ask who Gilligan was referring to. She knew he saw them both get on the plane. "No. He stayed in Kansas. He's not moving here."

"Hmm. I see. So you left him? Or did he leave you," Gilligan asked, his voice deceptively mild.

He tried to keep a lid on his anger but he could feel it beginning to bubble over. He concentrated on picking at his fingernails.

"Nobody left anyone. We weren't together when I left," Mary Ann said. "I wanted to talk to you about why… why I left."

Gilligan didn't say anything, but he was all ears. '_It better be a goodie,'_ he thought.

"I'm sorry Gilligan. I'm so sorry I left you standing at the altar." Mary Ann began to cry. Gilligan remained silent. "I just… I tried to tell my aunt and uncle about you, and they – she didn't like the idea of me getting married. She wanted me to go home to Kansas, so -"

"- So you abandoned me at the altar," Gilligan finished for her.

He promised himself he wouldn't say anything but he was having a hard time holding everything back.

"You _left me_ because your aunt told you go to home? _That's _your reason? So you left me at the altar, _alone, _and then your boyfriend, or ex-boyfriend, or whoever he is, showed up to take you back. You're _not_ a child. We were going to be married. Were you ashamed of me? Was that it?"

"No! I could never – no! I thought if I could just explain in person they would understand! I was going to tell them about you but then Uncle George passed and everything got messed up -"

"- That still doesn't explain why you abandoned me! You left without telling anyone! You didn't even talk it out with me – that's what husbands and wives do – they work things out together!"

Mary Ann was openly crying as Gilligan stood up and finally looked her in the eyes. He didn't realize that he was steadily getting louder and louder. He moved closer to Mary Ann until he was hovering right over her, yelling in her face as if he could push his anger on her. Make her feel what he felt.

"And then, you had the _audacity_ to turn your face away from me on the plane. I was chasing you down the _tarmac_! I could have been killed by another plane," Gilligan's voice began to crack, "and you –_ you_ – turned your back on me! How could you Mary Ann?_ HOW COULD YOU? I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME -"_

"- I DO," she sobbed, grabbing his sleeve with her free hand. "I DO love you! I -"

"- No! _DO NOT SAY THOSE WORDS TO ME_," Gilligan held up an index finger to her. "I don't want to hear that."

He had to calm down. He was getting out of control. But for once, he didn't care if she was crying. He cried. Why shouldn't she?

Gilligan wiped his eyes. He began to cry without realizing it. He looked down at Mary Ann as she cried. His anger was still out of control but he didn't want to draw too much attention with all the yelling he was doing. He tried breathing in through the nose and out through the mouth. The Skipper did it all the time when he was angry with Gilligan.

Mary Ann and Gilligan sat under the coconut tree and talked for over twenty minutes. She told him that she didn't expect him to pick her back up, but he knew she wanted him to.

"Gilligan I'm sorry," she said at the end of their conversation. "You have every right to yell at me. I would be furious with me too, if we switched places."

'_Furious? No, furious doesn't cover how I feel.'_ His anger flared up again. She was patronizing him and he didn't like it at all. She had just asked to be friends with him and he was suddenly ready to say no.

He stood up and was getting ready to walk away from her when something she said struck a chord with him.

'… _If we switched places…'_

Gilligan looked down at her. She might have been a woman, but she was still innocent. He could tell. Who else but an innocent would expect things to go back to the way they were? He felt the fire in his veins turn to ice. The wheels in his head began to turn.

He made sure to sound like the petulant child she apparently though he was when he spoke again.

"Well ok Mary Ann," he said hesitantly. "We can be friends again."

Mary Ann's face lit up. "Really? You mean it?"

Gilligan shook his head inwardly at her. "Yeah. But, just friends. You really hurt me."

"Of course. I'm just so happy that you would even be friends with me again."

"Well why wouldn't I? You still make the best coconut pies around and I have to stay friends with the best chefs," Gilligan said cheerily while shrugging his shoulders and holding out his hands.

Mary Ann giggled. "I'm so glad. I'll make the best pies for you. And I hope we'll be good friends." She looked up at the sky, which had gotten almost completely dark. She could see the stars out very bright. "I should probably get going inside. It's getting late."

"Yeah, and I need to find the Skipper," Gilligan said looking towards the ocean. He felt her put something in his and looked down to see a small pink and yellow flower. It was a plumeria, her favorite flower.

"I'm sorry," she said one more time before leaving.

Gilligan watched as she walked back to the house with a spring in her step. He then looked back down at the little flower. It reminded him so much of her. She was so naive. Mary Ann thought an 'I'm sorry' would be enough to fix everything. Gilligan had news for her. It wasn't enough. It would never be enough. She damaged him and didn't even have a good explanation of why she did it.

But she also gave him a solution to his problem. Now he would have to teach her a lesson. Gilligan smiled. He was suddenly looking forward to seeing her again.

His hand began to slowly close around it until he had it tightly in his fist.

He then dropped the crumpled flower and was careful to grind it completely into the dirt as he started his walk back to the house.


	4. Chapter 4

Ch. 4

Mary Ann made her way up to her room as quickly as possible, thankfully not seeing anyone else on the way. She shut the door and leaned against it. She felt as though her heart could beat out of her chest. Mary Ann sank to the floor and took a deep breath.

She didn't truly expect to find him so quickly, and completely alone. It was like God himself made a way for the two of them to meet. She replayed the conversation and put her head in her hands when she thought about what came out of her mouth.

'_I just asked Gilligan – the man I left at the altar – to be friends with me,'_ Mary Ann put her head back up and wrung her hands. She felt like such a fool. _'What was I thinking? What a stupid thing to do!'_

Mary Ann pictured his face in her mind. She couldn't even see the love in his eyes anymore. The adoration he had for her used to shine through so clearly. And now there was nothing. She was like a stranger to him. She tilted her head back slightly and took several deep breaths to stop the tears from welling up in her eyes.

Mary Ann realized that she never really had the chance to grieve over what happened. She left so quickly and when she got back to Kansas, there were no breaks. The farm needed tending and Uncle George had to be taken care of.

There was no time to sit and cry. Despite being busy, Mary Ann still thought about her wedding day. She hated to think about it and yet she couldn't help but to think of that day. There wasn't a day that went by that her mind didn't take her back to it. She also thought a lot about the very first conversation she had with Aunt Martha since she had been shipwrecked.

'_We never should have let you go to Hawaii on your own.'_

Those words were on constant replay the moment she heard them.

Mary Ann was angry at her aunt and knew that she would be for a very long time. Aunt Martha didn't want to hear about Gilligan. She wanted Mary Ann to come home and that was it. She felt like her aunt didn't care about her happiness. After being on her own for so long, being back on the farm was suffocating and only helped to strengthen the resentment she had for Aunt Martha.

But in the end, the anger she had for herself far outweighed what she felt against her aunt. No matter what Aunt Martha said, Mary Ann was an adult. It was her decision to leave. She could have just stayed in Hawaii.

She would be happily married. Maybe she'd even have a baby on the way. There was no telling what could've been. And perhaps that was part of what kept the pain so sharp; knowing that she would have been happy with her true love but never seeing it come to pass. It became a pipe dream when it should have been a reality, her life.

Mary Ann could repeat the choice she made at the cost of losing Gilligan again or she could be married to Gilligan at the cost of losing her aunt and never seeing the man who was like a father to her again.

Her parents and grandparents died when she was a little girl. Her father was an only child and Aunt Martha was her mother's sister. Her aunt and uncle had no children and her already small family shrunk even more after Uncle George died. Aunt Martha was it. That was all that was left of her family.

Family or love? Mary Ann supposed that for some people, the choice was an easy one. Some say they would definitely give up their family for love while others would rather have their family.

Her love for Gilligan was strong and unyielding. The power of her love for him changed her forever and it would never fade. But her family ties were just as enduring. She made her choice but couldn't help questioning them. Mary Ann felt her conscience tear at her.

She returned to the people who raised her in place of her parents. In a way she was glad because she got to see her Uncle George one last time. But her heart broke when she saw Gilligan for the first time in a year. He had changed so much.

Mary Ann saw how he hardened over time. She saw where he had been vulnerable. She could see all of it. She also knew that she was the cause of all of it. Mary Ann lived every day of her life in regret since the day of her wedding. But she knew that she would regret her choice no matter what she chose. Either way, Mary Ann lost.

She was still angry at herself about how she left. She turned her face away from him while she was on the plane. He was chasing her down the tarmac, begging her to stay with him. Gilligan didn't have to remind her. She knew what she had done. Mary Ann felt like a coward. She couldn't even face her decision on the day she made it. Her breath hitched when she thought back to the airport.

Leaving Gilligan was bad enough, but then her aunt had to send Horace to get her. They weren't even an item anymore – why would she send _him _of all people? She was a big girl – Mary Ann had just survived being shipwrecked on an island – she was sure she could somehow find her way back to Kansas.

She had just reassured Gilligan that she was never going to get back with him. Mary Ann knew that Gilligan had seen them both get in the plane. How could she face him?

'_You owed it to him,'_ she told herself. _'You should have just explained. He would have understood.'_

She felt so ashamed. So many mistakes were made. She didn't deserve him.

Her vision went blurry with tears. She could feel them flowing freely down her face. Mary Ann tried to hold back her sobs. If she listened closely, she could hear the pounding of the waves against the shore. It calmed her down and helped her to choke back the tears. It also helped her to remember Gilligan's answer.

'_Gilligan said yes. I don't know why. I don't deserve a yes. I don't deserve him... But I still want to be with him.'_

She decided to try and win him over again. Mary Ann just hoped it wasn't too late to make amends.

Gilligan began to walk towards his room and made a sudden detour that took him out behind the house where he could see the ocean. He sat down and stared out into the darkness. Mary Ann was back to stay, it seemed.

He suddenly felt irritated with himself. His sweet Mary Ann was long gone and yet when she began to cry, Gilligan wanted to wipe away her tears. _'And who wiped away yours,'_ he asked himself. _'Nobody did. The one person who could have ran away to Kansas.'_

Gilligan stood back up and walked closer to the edge of the property. It would be a constant battle to stay tough. Gilligan was a softie and he knew it. But she had ripped his heart out and left him to bleed alone. He had to teach her a lesson. Mary Ann had it coming to her.

But was it even worth it? Eleanor always said that revenge was never the answer to a problem. It just made the problem bigger. Maybe he should just drop the whole thing and try to forgive her. He could truly take up her offer to become friends again.

'_NO,'_ he thought, becoming more agitated by the minute. _'You're supposed to be finding a way to break her, not thinking about tears… coming from her beautiful eyes and…'_

He cut off his traitorous thoughts and rubbed the back of his neck. He was having doubts _already_? Gilligan began to pace back and forth. How was he supposed to carry out his plan when he couldn't even win an argument against himself?

'_No matter what, this is going to happen,'_ he told himself firmly. Gilligan stopped his pacing and walked back to the house. He took a quick shower and settled into bed. When he was done with her, she would feel his pain. Then, and only then, he would be satisfied.

Gilligan knew he didn't even sound like himself. He also knew that perhaps getting even wasn't the best thing to do, but he didn't care. All he could concentrate on was the fact that he was hurting and Mary Ann was the cause. He closed his eyes, turning a deaf ear to the doubt and warnings that jangled loud and clear within him.

* * *

Eleanor was in a rush. She promised one of the local schools that she would give them a tour of the ranch but forgot that one section of fencing was broken and needed fixed. She had all the lumber she needed but completely forgot the nails.

The children were due to arrive shortly and she had no extra help. Martha and Mary Ann were both busy on the farm, Jonas was down at the marina, and all the ranch hands were out and about on the property, dealing with the cattle. It was going to be a busy season. Eleanor was debating on who to pull from the field when Gilligan ambled into the kitchen.

"Gilligan, are you real busy? I need a favor from you," she said, getting straight to the point.

"I have to be down at the marina in about an hour and a half but I'm sure I could help you Eleanor," Gilligan replied while pouring himself some juice. "What do you need?"

Eleanor smiled in relief. "I need you to go down to the hardware store and pick up about five boxes of nails for the fence. I meant to have it fixed but it completely slipped my mind." She handed Gilligan a wad of cash and sent him on his way.

Gilligan looked up at the wall of boxes. Eleanor was going to kill him if he didn't hurry but she didn't say what kind of nails she wanted. After agonizing over galvanized or stainless steel nails for several minutes, he simply closed his eyes and reached out. He opened his eyes once his hand landed on a box. Stainless steel it was.

He grabbed five boxes and hurried to the cashier. After ringing up, he made his way out the door. As soon as he gave Eleanor the boxes, he could head over to the marina where the Skipper was waiting. They had several tours lined up for the day. He began to walk towards the farm when he suddenly felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand up.

"Hey there Gilligan. I've missed you! Where've you been?"

Gilligan sighed deeply. He knew that nasally voice anywhere. It was Agatha Foos, the girl from up the road. He turned around looked at her. She was tall for a female and all bones. Agatha had on a dark beige skirt and a light green blouse that complimented her coloring well but did not fit her frame properly.

The blouse was extremely loose and baggy in the midsection and Gilligan thought the skirt looked like something the Skipper used in the navy to carry potatoes around in but he would never say that out loud.

She had tan skin, long honey blond hair pulled back into a ponytail and glasses with thick frames and lenses that that looked like cubes of ice that belonged in a drink with a little umbrella.

They were so thick and clunky and covered so much of her face that Gilligan wasn't sure he'd even be able to recognize her without them. Agatha could probably pick up a broadcast from Moscow with those things.

If she was lost in the jungle somewhere Gilligan knew he would never be able to describe her face - he had never actually seen all of it. But he was sure that Agatha, who he thought might actually be pretty, was also the plainest and most bland girl Gilligan had ever seen.

'_Ginger would be able to fix her up real good,'_ he thought.

Her plainness never bothered him but her obsessive love for him was another story. Agatha had been in love with Gilligan from the moment she set ice cubes on him. She was persistent in her pursuit of him. Gilligan tried to hide from her but Agatha always found him.

'_Smile like you mean it.'_

"Hi Agatha," Gilligan said with a small wave. "I've been around. Eleanor and the Skipper keep me busy these days. How are you?"

"I'm much better Gilligan, now that I've seen you," she said with a bright smile.

"That's great," he replied with an uneasy smile. Gilligan began to walk again and Agatha followed, all the while chatting away.

"You know, maybe I could convince Mr. Grumby to let us take a trip on the SS Minnow together. I want to get more pictures of you and…"

God, he hated the sound of her voice. It was like listening to feral cats try to fight their way out of a burlap sack. Well maybe not, but that's what it felt like to Gilligan. All she talked about was what she wanted to do with him, the names of their children, when they would get married, all the foods she would cook him, etc etc…

Gilligan knew that whoever could stand her incessant talking would be a lucky man. He had no doubt that she would make a good wife. He just didn't want her as _his _wife. He simply thought of her as a friend. A friend he liked to avoid. As much as possible.

He stole a quick glance in her direction. She was still talking. He didn't know when he started tuning her out, but it was a longstanding habit of his. She would fire away and he would immediately close his ears.

She was a nice girl, but he wasn't into blondes. Plus she was too tall and way too skinny for his liking. Gilligan preferred petite brunettes with some meat on their bones. He shook his head to clear it. He was thinking about her again.

Gilligan reached the end of the sidewalk and was about to cross the street when he looked up and saw Mary Ann. She was looking down at a piece of paper in her hand and hadn't noticed him just yet.

Gilligan looked over at Agatha. "… I could make fried chicken if you like, or maybe just some sandwiches." She was still talking.

"Uh, whatever you want," he said distractedly.

Agatha clapped her hands in delight. "I'll surprise you! Trust me, it'll be good. You'll like it – we're gonna have so much fun!"

He still had no idea what she was going on about and he really didn't care. His eyes were on Mary Ann and Mary Ann alone. He suddenly knew what to do next.

Gilligan swiftly grabbed Agatha by her thin shoulders and pulled her towards him. He aimed for her mouth, knowing that Mary Ann would see them. At the thought of her watching however, he suddenly moved his head and ended up kissing Agatha on the cheek instead.

When he released Agatha, he was aware of the shocked silence from her. He looked up and saw Mary Ann watching them. Gilligan waved at her and took Agatha's hand. He walked over to her side of the street, pulling Agatha along with him.

"Hiya Mary Ann," he said giving her a wide smile. "I thought you and Martha were busy gathering up the coconuts. What brings you down this way?"

Mary Ann blinked several times, unable to think for a second. "I… Aunt Martha sent me to the store to get… some stuff for her. I, uh, I'm sorry, I don't think we've met." She turned her attention to Agatha. "I'm Mary Ann Summers."

"Hi Mary Ann, I'm Agatha G. Foos." Agatha smiled at her, still very giddy from the sudden kiss. "How do you know Gilligan?"

Mary Ann was having a difficult time concentrating on what Agatha was asking. She was too busy hating the blush on the girl's cheeks. "Oh we… we go way back," she answered. "How do you two know each other?"

"We've known each other for a long time," Gilligan answered blithely. "I met her years ago. Eleanor and the Skipper are like family to her."

Suddenly it was too much. Seeing him with someone else was too much for her. Mary Ann didn't count on Gilligan finding another girl to be with. She was the one who initiated their relationship!

"That's nice," she said. "Um, Gilligan, I hate to cut this short but I have to – I need to get moving. Aunt Martha is expecting me back soon. It was so nice to meet you Agatha."

"Nice to meet you too! Maybe we can hang out sometime!"

"I would like that. Well, goodbye. See you back at the house Gilligan."

Mary Ann walked around the pair and quickly rounded a corner. She walked behind a parked car and crouched low to the ground. Her eyes prickled and suddenly she could feel hot tears running down her face. Mary Ann knew that she shouldn't be crying _again,_ but somewhere inside she had hoped that he would wait for her.

Agatha seemed like she genuinely cared for him. She should be happy for him but at the moment, Mary Ann felt selfish. She felt hurt. She wanted him all to herself but knew that it was ridiculous to want that. He had a right to move on and she couldn't blame him if he did just that. Mary Ann took a few minutes to pull herself back together before getting back up. She took a small compact mirror out of her purse and inspected her reflection.

She was a mess. She hated to cry because her eyes and mouth always became swollen and her nose turned bright red. Crying also gave her a nasty headache, which she could already feel building behind her eyes. Mary Ann cleaned her face up as best as she could and continued her walk to the store. She would never let Gilligan see her crying because she wanted him back.


	5. Chapter 5

_**A/N: Hi everybody, it's been a very long time, hasn't it? I'm sorry about that - I've been very sick for the last year. Actually longer than that but anyway - I hope you enjoy reading this! As a reminder I will say that it's rather AU so please don't crucify me lol. I'm just exploring what could happen to someone when something traumatic takes place in their life. I also realize it's kinda short - I'm still getting back into the swing of things, so let's just go with it and see what happens. I appreciate you all reading and I really appreciate the people who've pm'ed me checking up to see how I've been doing - you know who you are; thank you so much. It helped to keep me going. Anyway, enjoy and let me know what you think! I like comments as much as the next writer lol! **_

* * *

Ch. 5

_**San Diego, CA**_

Ginger stood at the balcony of her hotel room. Below her were locals and tourists alike, milling around, checking out the sights and sounds. She had only been back in California for a year but it seemed like she had been gone for much longer than that. It was crazy but Ginger actually missed the simplicity of the island she and her friends had been trapped on for so long.

Things changed while she was gone; everything moved at a faster pace - time, traffic, fashion, and especially people. The girls were much faster than they used to be. Before, Ginger was a star in her own right. Sure she had looks and talent, but it was Ginger just being herself that made her famous. Now she was expected to do all sorts of things a lady would never do. Showing off her magnificent figure was one thing – anybody would be lucky to see it – but Mr. Beauregard, the director of the movie she had auditioned for, had talked about her _working_ for the lead role. After dark, in his home, just the two of them.

Ginger was nothing if not classy. She didn't know about any of the other A-list ladies, but she would never stoop to prostituting herself for roles and she wasn't about to start now.

She sighed and walked back into her suite feeling lonely. This vacation was doing nothing for her nerves. She sat at the intricately carved stationary in the front room and stared at the stacks of thick parchment in front of her. Ginger smiled. She knew exactly what she needed. It wasn't time away from it all that she wanted – it was her dearest friends.

Ginger pulled out several pieces of paper, got out her address book and began to write. She would plan a vacation for all of them. She knew inside that they all missed her as much as she missed them.

'_Maybe we could all go back to Hawaii,'_ she thought, excitement building. _'After all, Gilligan and the Skipper are there – maybe we could take another three hour cruise!'_

Ginger chuckled at her own joke as she wrote her first letter. She would never say it out loud, but there was a small place in her that wanted to take that cruise. Maybe they would get stuck on another deserted island.

'_No time to get mopey,'_ she admonished herself. _'We'll see each other soon enough.'_

_**Dear Mr. and Mrs. Howell,**_

_**I can scarcely believe it's been over a year since we've last seen each other. I know you're both working hard being filthy rich, but I thought you two might like a nice vacation with the old crowd. What do you say? I miss you both terribly! I will also be writing to the Professor and Mary Ann. We could all take a trip to Hawaii and surprise Skipper and Gilligan. I know they would just be thrilled to see us all. Let me know what you think! I hope this letter finds you well.**_

_**All my love,**_

_**Ginger xoxo**_

Ginger looked at her handiwork and smiled. One letter down, two more to go.

* * *

Gilligan couldn't stop himself from watching as Mary Ann walked away from him. It was like she didn't even care. He could taste bitterness in his mouth like ashes. Once again he had been cast aside. He felt himself deflate for a moment. Was there even a point in trying to make her jealous if she didn't care in the first place?

There was something deep inside the cracks of his heart that wouldn't allow this. He couldn't stomach the thought of being strung along and left on the side like an old toy. Gilligan cursed himself internally. No matter how hard he tried to toughen up, the silly, green boy he had been refused to disappear. He was going soft again and hated every moment of it. He had let his guard down too far.

'_No,'_ he thought as he stared at the corner she had walked around. He refused to think that Mary Ann, that _woman,_ affected him so much after all this time. _'This is all her doing. __**She**__ left __**me. **__She's the liar. The manipulator. She's the one who doesn't care.'_

He looked over at Agatha and released the hand he had been holding. He didn't like the dreamy look he saw in her eyes as she gazed at him. She looked suspiciously lovestruck. All the signs were there - the flushed cheeks, slightly elevated breathing, dilated pupils, and good God, he especially hated the way she was suddenly biting her lower lip.

He acted rashly and he knew it. Gilligan regretted grabbing Agatha's hand and kissing her on the cheek. Not because Mary Ann had seen it – oh no, he had _wanted _her to see that. But even Gilligan had to admit that it was a juvenile move. He could've done better. And now he had to deal with Agatha and her delusions of romance.

He imagined himself as her boyfriend for a moment. He could see it now: she would be by his side 24/7. There would be constant talking, her touching him all the time, her cooking and probably wanting to feed him… he'd probably never be able to talk to his friends alone without her. Agatha would go crazy if she saw him talking to Ginger. She would never let Gilligan out of her sight.

Gilligan shook his head to clear the horrifying scene from his mind. He couldn't do it – Agatha was just too much for him. She had a faraway look in her eyes. Probably dreaming of all the children she would have with him. He would have to let her down quickly before she tried anything.

"…Agatha," Gilligan began.

She looked at him with a sappy smile. "Yes, my love?"

My love. She called him _my love._ Mary Ann had been gone for five minutes and Agatha already had a pet name for him.

Gilligan smiled uncomfortably and reminded himself to be gentle with her. "I feel like I need to clear some things up with you… I shouldn't have done that… kissed you, I mean. I don't want you to think that there's anything between us besides friendship. I'm real sorry."

He watched Agatha's smile slowly drop. A frown took its place. "I don't understand Gilligan," she said. "You just… you held my hand. You _kissed_ me."

"I know… I'm sorry," he replied miserably. "I don't know what came over me."

"It's strange – you've known all this time that I really like you but you've never returned my feelings. But when that Mary Anne girl showed up, you acted like we were just two peas in a pod," Agatha said shrewdly. "Do you like her?"

Gilligan felt as though he had swallowed a huge rock. He couldn't even think about her without wanting to hit something.

Agatha studied Gilligan. He looked like he was going to be sick.

"Here, let's sit down." She pulled him over to a bench near the sidewalk and sat him down. She gave him a few moments to center himself before talking again. "I haven't known you for a long time, but in the short amount of time we've known each other, I've gotten to know you pretty well. This isn't you. What's going on? Is there something between you and her?"

He stayed silent. He didn't want to talk about that woman.

Agatha became exasperated with his stubborn silence. "Gilligan. You kissed me -"

"_On the cheek_, Agatha. I kissed you on the cheek," he snapped. "It wasn't a marriage proposal."

"Yeah, it was on the cheek," she replied quietly. "But you brought me into whatever game you're playing. I think I deserve to know something, don't you think?"

He was immediately sorry for losing his patience. She was right – Gilligan tried using her as a weapon against Mary Ann and it backfired. She deserved to know what was going on.

He sighed heavily. "It's a long story Agatha."

"I've got time," she replied with an encouraging smile.

Gilligan kept his eyes on the ground. "You remember those people in the news that came into port? The ones that said they were shipwrecked a little over a year ago?"

"Yeah."

"Well I was one of those people. So was Mary Ann."

Agatha didn't say anything and motioned for him to continue.

"We fell in love on the island and were gonna get married when, or if, we got back to civilization. Well, when we finally made it back, we went ahead with the wedding plans. I remember standing at the altar being so excited. I hadn't seen her yet, but I knew she was gonna be beautiful." Gilligan smiled as he remembered the day. "I couldn't wait to make her my wife. All of our best friends were with us: Skipper, the Professor, the Howells, Ginger… it was supposed to be the happiest day of my life. Of our life."

"What happened," she asked, completely absorbed in his story.

"She left," he answered, smile disappearing completely.

"What do you mean 'she left'?"

"I mean she left. Mary Ann left me at the altar. Ginger found out she was at the airport and we all went there. I tried to stop her and she wouldn't listen," he said tonelessly. "She couldn't… or wouldn't stay. And so she left. She went back to Kansas."

"I'm so sorry," Agatha said. She put her hand on his shoulder. "No wonder you've been so uptight lately. I think I'd be angry too."

He didn't say anything – just looked at her with tired eyes.

"Is this what that little stunt was about? Trying to make her jealous?"

Gilligan sat up, feeling angry all of a sudden. Agatha thought she knew him so well. He told her what happened – that didn't make her his therapist.

"'Trying to make her jealous.' You make me sound so petty," he sneered, trying to keep his anger under control. "She walked out on me, Agatha. She threw me and the life we would've had together away. When I asked why, she didn't even have a reason. I thought she might've left for that old boyfriend of hers - he was at the airport with her. But she hasn't talked about him since she's been here. Mary Ann Summers has the honor and distinction of being the first and last woman I will ever love. So to answer your question... no, I'm not trying to make her jealous."

Agatha watched with wide eyes as pure rage overtook the sweet and gentle Gilligan she knew. In his place was somebody she didn't want to know. Any romantic feelings she had for him had shriveled up in the time it took for him to tell her what happened between him and Mary Ann.

No wonder the girl looked like a deer frozen in headlights. She looked terrified when Agatha laid eyes on her. But any girl would if they had to deal with Gilligan's newfound wrath. She didn't even know he had this side to him.

Gilligan stood up and looked down at Agatha. "I'll be ok." He forced a very Gilligan-like smile on his face. "It'll take some time, but soon enough I'll be good as new."

Agatha stood up and looked at him. He looked and sounded like his old self but she still felt unsettled.

Not wanting to anger him any further, she gave a big smile of her own. "I know you'll be alright Gilligan. I'm here if you ever wanna talk."

He scoffed inwardly at that – as if he would ever go to _her_ for a heart to heart.

"I'll be ok," he repeated. "It's getting hot out – you should go and find somewhere shady to sit. I'm gonna head back home."

Agatha nodded and turned away. She didn't like what she saw but there was nothing she could do.

"Just don't tell anyone what I told you. Please."

She turned back and looked at Gilligan. "Of course not. Whatever you tell me stays with me." He might've tacked on a 'please' at the end, but Agatha knew an order when she heard one. He wasn't asking her not to tell anyone. He was telling her.

Gilligan dropped his smile the moment Agatha walked away. He was glad she left when she did – he thought his face would crack into a million pieces from the effort it took to hold that silly look in place.

It had been so long since he'd genuinely smiled. Without really meaning to, Gilligan's mind wandered back to Mary Ann.

'_It's all because of her. She stole my happiness, my life. She ruined everything for us. We could've been happy. She doesn't care. Did she ever? Was I just a game to her?'_

He froze in place, all poisonous thoughts suddenly quiet. A solution to his dilemma presented itself to him. It was perfect. There was no point in trying to make her jealous because she _didn't_ care. The feelings for her weren't there anymore.

He would just have to bring them back. And _then _he would teach her.


End file.
